Stream in the Desert in A Foreign Land
When God is near, but how when you don’t feel that He is?
I experienced a spiritual dryness in the beginning of my placement in Taiwan. The fellowship that I had twice a week, now gone, I mean totally. The services I attended were in Chinese or Bunun language, how I was deprived out of so sudden from spiritual nourishment. I lost the ability to worship God in the presence of a church, ‘cos I can’t read that complex Chinese characters. Obviously, I had no service schedule on going. A tremendous deprivation from the rich promised land to a dry desert.
Not long after all these, I know that this was not well with my soul. God seemed so far. I lost the ability to pray, nearly not knowing what was it for and difference it could make. I missed the joy til I could not sing Him praises and worship. Even my devotional book, “Stream in the Desert”, did not even reach a sufficient line for my necessary intake. Word of God became so dry in my view and truthfully I had no appetite to ‘consume’ it.
My analytical and reflective self forced me to question my calling and if I was up to for it. I doubt. Catching up with new culture, new people, new hygiene standards (oh yes, this is important for me! Especially when circumstances don’t support my normal standard), and of course new spiritual intake. If only this has shaken me, how can I survive alone in His field?
However, I’m always reminded that His presence is never dependent on what I am feeling. Within this frustrated self, there was a force that slowly but steadily pushed me to draw close to Him. Near to Him.
To be continued
When God is near
Make me know Your presence Lord The King of Glory here You know each trial and action, hope anxiety and fear. How can I hide from Thee Can darkness hide, iniquity Oh, how can I unfaithful be when You are very near to me When God is near, all the world seems far away When God is near, every fear is set aside When God is near, how can I stray, how can I falter I stand upon the altar I know my God is near Make me know Your presence Lord When I feel so alone You know each trial and testing, pain The hurt that is unknown Oh, Why can I not see Your hands so firmly guiding me Oh, how can I untrusting be When you are very near to me When God is near, all the world seems far away When God is near, every fear is set aside When God is near, how can I stray, how can I falter I stand upon the altar I know my God is near
